It took all of my willpower to drag myself out of bed to write this. It just hit me, as I lie there listening to the rain, that it's going to be a few days until I can write again. So here I sit, ripped from the comfort of my Harry Potter fleece blanket and ipod on shuffle.
Today was pretty uneventful. Work in the morning, then I came home and finished my loan application for college. Tagged along with my mom to my sister's flute lesson. We got coffee =) And saw some chick walking down the sidewalk with no pants on. I will honestly never figure out this strange, strange world we live in. I'm not sure anyone's meant to.
I just finished packing for my trip tomorrow - me and my friends Ana, Miles, Dave, and Kushtrim are going to Maplewood, NJ from tomorrow until Monday. We're staying with Ana's aunt and uncle. I'm SO excited....I'm looking forward to a long weekend of crazyness and spontaneity. We're leaving around eleven thirty tomorrow morning, so I have to remember to change my alarm. I'm sure when I return I'll have a story or two or ten to share.
I'm feeling a little better about the boy situation today. I talked to Katya about it at work and she calmed me down. She said, "If you're honestly feeling this bad about it, that means you're not a bitch like you think you are so just relax......and might I bring up the fact that you got what you wanted? *sly smile*" Yeah, I got what I wanted. But I still feel a little bad. Not like last night though. I'm not sure if you can tell from the last post, but I was a complete wreck. Actually, that carried over through most of work as well, until Katya came in at two. I was snapping at customers and cursing under my breath for hours. Thank god I mellowed out after that. I hate feeling miserable and edgy.
Okay, well the fleece blanket is screaming my name right now. Until later. Peace out =)
Today began as the dullest of dull and ended on a very different note.
Let's recap to last night first.
Katya and Judy and I went to Walmart and Perkins, which was a really, really fun time. Katya and I bought new bras just for the hell of it. I love underwear shopping. Does that make me completely weird? I think Judy had a nice time, which is the most important thing, cause she doesn't have an easy life by any means. It makes me happy to be able to make her feel better, even if it is only by a little bit.
This morning, Katya and I worked together, along with the annoying co-worker we have so lovingly dubbed Mullet Head. Mullet Head drove us both crazy, as usual, so I was glad when she left at one rather than five. Work turned quite interesting around 2:30 when Katya and I smelled burning and realized there was a mini electrical fire in the ceiling. The entire place filled up with disgusting smoke, we had to evacuate everyone, and the fire company came. And all my boss had to say about the affair was, "Well, I know why this place is on fire - it's because I'm here and I'm just too hot." And so marks yet another wonderful memory of my part time job.
Tonight, Kyle and I went to the movies again, this time to see the Proposal. I had already seen it, but I thought it was good enough to see a second time. Best thing ever though? In the middle of the movie, I heard the same crazy laughter like those old ladies we saw in the Hangover and I told Kyle about it. When we left the theatre, he turned to me with the biggest grin on my face and whispered, "When the lights came up, I looked to my left and realized the same ladies from the Hangover were one row up from us." It was HILARIOUS. Life is full of weird coincidences, no?
Last event of the evening. That boy, yeah, the one who's driving me crazy in good ways and in bad, just broke up with his girlfriend tonight. I didn't expect to feel anything but happiness about this because that means he would no longer be going behind her back and everything would be so much easier. Wrong-o. I feel like the biggest bitchola because I know this is partially my fault, even though he insists it's not my fault and I shouldn't feel bad. I can't help it though. The girl cried, for god's sake, which makes me a terrible, horrible, awful person. My conscience is swallowing me whole right now. I'm such a torrent of mixed emotions, it's ridiculous.
Maybe I can sleep it off. I hope. Goodnight.
Today I saw the perfect word to describe this weather : June-uary. It hasn't gotten better. I'm ready to call the weather station and complain.
I've been quite the busy girl lately. This weekend was completely insane and completely wonderful. I had two parties on Saturday night, where I saw a few friends I hadn't seen since graduation. Sunday was Katya's party, which was a very good time (I got to see my mock trillians, who I love to death) and afterwards, the Def Leppard concert!!! Yes, we had lawn seats. Yes, we got rained on the entire time. But seriously, it was Def Leppard, so who even cares? There was some guy in front of us who wore swim trunks because he knew it would be rainy, which was hilarious, because every time a song came on that he liked, he would jump to his feet, pick the swim trunk wedgie he got whenever he sat down, and start hardcore headbanging. So funny. On the way home, we ran on E the entire time and went to four gas stations before we found one that was open, which was also quite the experience. I was never genuinely afraid of breaking down before, but during that eternity-long gas station hopping trip, I was seriously worried we were going to get stranded in the middle of the road. It's all good, though. Thank god for 24-hour truck stops.
Last night was my graduation party and one of the best times I've had in a while. It was a really great group of people; everyone meshed extremely well and it seemed like they all had a blast. I got to see a few kids I don't always get to see, which was great. But when I got home and opened my cards, ohh mannn, that was an emotional trip I didn't expect. I didn't cry at all during class day or baccalaureate or graduation or anything, but last night I sat at my kitchen table, reading the most heartfelt cards I've ever received, sobbing. It hits me at the weirdest moments that I'm leaving so many people I love behind. I hate it so much.
But I'm not going to think about that for now. August 19th is a long ways away. I'm not leaving really that soon, right?
Today I tried to give blood but was denied because, apparently, I have a low iron count. Grrrrr. Whatever though, I'm used to ridiculous luck. As of now, I'm just hanging around my house and later on I'm going on a WalMart run with Katya and my supervisor Judy from work. It's going to be fun =]
YAWN.
For once, I'm completely beat and it's before two. This is a change. I had a pretty busy day though, which explains it. I had work at nine this morning. That was positively brutal, the getting up, since I stayed up so late the night before. But I flung myself out of bed at the first sound of the alarm, cause I knew I would never get up if I didn't tear myself from the mattress. I got out at one, which wasn't bad at all, and then ran errands with my mother for a few hours. When I got home, I went out to the yard and shucked corn (yes, sounds like a redneck fest, but I swear, I'm not a complete hick) and made chocolate covered strawberries :) THAT was fun. Even though I ended up just eating like half the baker's chocolate.
After dinner, Katya and I, along with our friends Dave, Kushtrim, and Ana, went to another friend's house for a little bit. We played Taboo and I saw Ana for the first time since graduation (cause she was in Seattle) so it was nice to catch up with everyone. With my friends, I have a big group of us that are all extremely close, and whenever we get together we're crazy. I love it <3>
On another note, he came to visit me @ work today, and it was deadly. Every time just makes everything so much worse. He gave me a hug before he left and my mind was screaming, "YOU'RE KILLING ME! MAKE IT STOP!" And the thing is, I can't even say anymore that he doesn't realize what kind of effect he has on me. Cause he totally does, and it sucks!
God. I'm so glad that no one I know will ever read this. Or I'd be so dead.
For now, though, bed bed bed. Note the rhyme. :)
Today was quite the busy day. Katya and I went shopping, where I found the most adorable pair of pink Harajuku high tops for $20 on super clearance and the prettiest purple dress for my graduation party. Oooh, and rocky road frozen yogurt :) Very productive trip. The movie tonight was good too. The funniest thing, however, was the bunch of older ladies who went to see it (and for any of you who have seen the Hangover, you all know it is NOT a movie geared toward 50+). They laughed loudly the entire time like the sounds you hear when you enter the bird exhibit at the zoo - all sorts of high pitched chirps and whistles. I cracked up the entire time listening to them and it made the whole experience that much more humorous.
We had sun all day. That made me smile. And the moon tonight was so tiny, it was like a little fingernail clipping. It felt so good to be outside at nine thirty and it be light out. That's what summer is about, that sense of everything being slowed down and relaxed. Another good thing - my pool is finally opened. I have work tomorrow from nine until one and as soon as I get home, I'm dive-bombing right in, regardless of temperature. Last summer, my sister and I spent so many late nights in the pool, floating around with the radio on. That was actually one of the only positive things about summer '08. I can't wait to start doing that again.
For now, though, I'm heading off to bed for my now familiar ritual - snuggle under the covers, put on some background noise, and try to hide how much I like this boy while he texts me until I fall asleep. Last night, actually, he got me really upset. Because he claims he wants to be with me but I told him needs to get everything sorted out first. BECAUSE HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! I feel like he's dragging me into the middle of this situation he doesn't even know how to control, and it's not fair to me or his girlfriend, even if the relationship is eeeehhhh. Plus, when I get into something, I give it all I've got. It's all or nothing for me. That's just the kind of person I am. And my emotions are already wayyy too tangled up in this for my liking. I just won't be happy AT ALL if this ends up the same way as the others, with me alone. So I'm just trying to give it time and not get worked up about it. But I can't help it. =/
OKAAAYY. Yeah, word vomited a tiny bit there. I'm going now. For real. Sleep tight.
It's nearly midnight, and I can hear the crickets outside the front windows. It's such a peaceful sound.
I ended up spending the day out with my mom and my sister. We were just running simple errands, but I really enjoyed it. I found some excellent steals at the dollar tree too, as usual, so I'd say it was a very productive trip. Work was a lot of putting merchandise away, which usually isn't so bad if I have someone with me, but I was alone up front so it got a little boring. Overall, though, it wasn't too trying. I'm glad to be home though. I'm loving the carefree element of summer where I can just come home and flop around, not worrying about what schoolwork needs to be done or what tests I have to take. And the whole, "yeah, graduated!" thing just makes it so much better. It's delicious.
Tomorrow should be a very good day. Katya and I are going to get her ears pierced, and I need to pick up a sundress for my graduation party. Then I'm going to see the Hangover with my friend Kyle, because everyone's raving about it and he insists on taking me after just giving me the entire plot synopsis on the phone, complete with quotes and everything. So that's going to be good. But for now, I'm going to go watch Slumdog Millionaire. I haven't seen it yet, but my sister bought it and has been bugging me to watch it with her. It's supposed to be amazing as well, so I'm excited. =]
Goodnight, everyone. No one's reading this, but watch the bedbugs anyway. They're vicious this time of year :P
I woke up this morning to a text: "GOODMORNING!!! :D I brought the sunshine back! :)". And when I looked out the window, 'twas true! THE SUN IS OUT! It's actually starting to feel like summer weather! My dad put the air conditioner in my sister's room yesterday, which is another sign, because my dad only puts it in when it's finally needed. =] Call me the happiest person in the world right now.
My mom's baking cookies in the kitchen, which opens into the living room where I am right now. All sorts of wonderful smells are wafting in through the doorway and with each new scent blending into the mix, I find myself getting up again and stealing another. This has got to stop, or I'm going to be a bus before I put my bathing suit on.
I have work later on tonight, but until then, I'm going to find something interesting to do. Maybe I'll take a walk outside. Or re-arrange things in my room. Or paint my nails the bright neon green color I couldn't resist buying last night during my shift. Or all three! The world is at my feet, and the possibilities are endless! :)